Nicole vs. Life
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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