she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
