i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
