This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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