I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
