the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have tasted many bathrooms
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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