I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
