Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
this is an emotional support booty call
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
