do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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