We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
