I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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