Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
