some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
dude. I can hear the air.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
