I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
