Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
