you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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