If i come over, it means nothing
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
