so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
