Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize