just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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