Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize