all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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