Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
