well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
