She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
