is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
