You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
