It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
