I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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