I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
