So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
