ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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