so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
How's work?
Spinning.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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