im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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