I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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