All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Randomize