Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
