I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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