It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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