Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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