yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
