bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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