he thought i was a dude.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
