Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
