matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
