pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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