I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize