I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
