I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
