Sponge bath it is.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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