So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize