Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
