I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
