He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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