We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
