Cold hands, warm shart.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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