I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
