I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize