Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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