I'm gonna have a badass scar
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
