ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
