I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize