He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
