Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
