I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
