what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
