And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
