Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
