I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This baby is an asshole
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
