she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
