Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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