dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
